Invaluable Peace

"Some things are simply too costly to surrender."

Sugas, I need to talk to you about something that took me far too long to understand and that is the true value of your peace. There was a season in my life when I handed the key to my peace to another person. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, but I was placing the most precious thing I owned into the hands of someone who had no intention of keeping it safe. And here's what I know now: the one who holds the key to your peace holds the key to your mind. And the one who controls your mind can slowly take over your entire life.

If you've walked through narcissistic abuse the gaslighting, the manipulation, the emotional chains that kept you confused and small then you know exactly what I'm describing. I know what it's like to lie awake at night with a tear-soaked pillow, terrified that your next move will be the wrong one. I know the anguish of walking on eggshells in your own home, in your own skin. That is not the life God designed for you, Suga. Not even close.

But here is the truth I want to plant deep in your spirit today: peace is not something another human being has the authority to give you or take from you not permanently. God-given peace is different. Man-made peace rises and falls with circumstances. But the peace of God? It anchors you when everything around you is shaking.

Having peace does not mean having a perfect life. It means trusting that God is in control and that He has not left you, that He will not forsake you. His peace allows you to rest in the middle of the chaos. It gives you the words to pray when you feel like you have none left. And I have arrived at a place in my life where I can say with full conviction: if it costs me my peace, I cannot afford it.

Suga, I need you to hear this: if walking away from a person or a situation brings you peace, you have not lost anything. You have gained everything ...your right state of mind, your identity, your sanity, your self-worth. The enemy wants you to believe that leaving means losing. That is a lie. Leaving what was destroying you is how you come home to yourself.

How to walk into God's peace

• Acknowledge the truth: the relationship you had with a narcissistic abuser was never rooted in real love. Grieve it, and then release it.

• Drench yourself in the Word of God. Let Him remind you of what He says about you because what He says is the final word.

• Pray until it becomes like breathing. Pray until it becomes muscle memory. Just keep talking to Him.

• Find your tribe, Suga. Surround yourself with people who understand what you have walked through. Not everyone in your life will have the capacity to support this season and that is okay. Find those who do.

• Do not return evil for evil. I know the anger is real as I've felt it too. But let God vindicate you. Vengeance belongs to Him, and His justice is far more thorough than anything we could manage on our own.

• Ask God to reveal your true identity and your true purpose. The abuse distorted the image you had of yourself. Let God restore it. He will, as He did it for me.

• Even in your wilderness, in the midst, while you are still healing, pour into someone else. Offer encouragement. Give your gifts. You never heal in isolation.

  
  

  What I know without a shadow of a doubt is this: you were not created to live in torment. You were not designed to shrink, to disappear, to silence yourself so someone else could feel powerful. God said He came so that you might have life — and have it more abundantly. That abundant life includes peace. It belongs to you.

  
  

  And on the days when the tears come back, when the anger flares up, when you stumble or want to throw in the towel — His peace is still there. It does not leave when you are imperfect. It does not withdraw when life gets messy. The peace of God lives in the middle of the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is not circumstantial. It cannot be revoked by another person's behavior. It is yours.

  
  

  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

  John 14:27 (NIV)

  
  

  Receive that, Suga. Every single word of it. As you continue to transform, as you continue to heal, as you begin to remember who you were always meant to be... receive His peace. It is invaluable. And it was always meant for you to obtain.

  
  

  You are not what happened to you. You are who God says you are. Now go on and shine.

  — Kashmire Kay, Shine Suga Shine