Your Smile is Your Weapon

Ever crossed paths with someone who has a smile pasted on their face 24/7 and thought, "What's the real deal behind their smile?" "There's no way they can be that happy." Psalm 34:5 says, "Those who look to Him are radiant with joy."

I do swim aerobics several times a week and strangers walk up to me and say, "Your smile inspires me." A sweet elderly lady told me, "Honey, when I see you jumping up and down in this water, your smile inspires me to keep pushing."

What most did not know was behind my effervescent smile was a woman who didn't know her own worth. I was lost in a haze for years, living life on autopilot. I was dancing to someone else's beat, unable to make my own decisions. Finding my voice was a struggle. Understanding my value took me ages and I had many challenges in discovering who I truly was.

I grew up in a generation where it was common for parents to say that children were to be seen and not heard. I learned to not express my needs or how I felt and if I tried, they were shut down and many times, I was shamed and told I’m starting problems, or I WAS the problem. I did not feel what I had to say was of importance or even mattered. My voice was silenced. Later in life, I learned that type of dynamic was isolating and unhealthy.

My mom used to say, "What happens at 105 stays at 105." But trust me, it doesn't. It follows you from childhood throughout your adulthood whether you dealt with your trauma or not.

Accepting Jesus at 21 was a game-changer, but having a real relationship with Him? That took time. I let others dictate my purpose, became codependent, and handed over my power to unhealed men who mistreated and abused me. I later learned that the reason I did this was because it was familiar, and that realization hit hard.

My parents weren't perfect, but they got a lot of things right. God has given me an agape love for them, understanding they had their battles to fight as well. TD Jakes once said, "How can you expect a gallon-size love from a parent that only received a pint-size love themselves?"

Emotional neglect in formative years leaves holes in your soul, affecting different areas of your life, especially relationships. I've weathered the storm of a narcissistic marriage, conquered a food addiction, faced financial struggles, experienced my voice being silenced, and battled anxiety. These struggles were the shadows behind my smile.

To the world, I was the joy-spreader, throwing happiness around like confetti. But beneath it all, a different reality lurked. Psalms 147:3 echoes: God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He's putting the bad behind us.

Kirk Franklin's song, "I Smile" resonates -

I smile, even though it hurts me I smile

I know God is working so I smile

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile

It’s so hard to look up when you been down

Sure would hate to see you give up now

You look so much better when you smile, so smile

When you see me smile, just know that I have not arrived nor do I want to, I need Jesus every single day

When you see me smile, it’s intentional and I believe that no matter what you may be going through, you will receive the baton of hope to smile again

When you see me smile, just know that God does not play the favoritism game, if He can heal, transform and change me, He can do the exact same for you too.

The enemy is so stupid. He thought he could keep me silent b

ut God turned it around and used every ounce of my struggles and my pain for good because here I am using my voice that the enemy tried to snuff out.

Smiling is a powerful weapon that can brighten up someone’s day in an instant. A smile shows strength. A smile says, I see you and care about you and you are valuable in God’s sight and mine.

You never know all that someone endured behind their smile. You want to know how you can uplift and bless someone’s life today? Toss them a smile. You both are going to benefit from it.